MAYBE if u didn’t want ur son to EAT poeple u shouldnt have named him something that rhymes with cannibal u should have name him hegetarian or something
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
growing up i always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be
DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY
if u smell good, we cool
I am so dumb why didn’t I put more effort into looking at colleges a few months ago I have like no options where I’d actually be excited to go now