75,169 notes

alwaysblind:

MAYBE if u didn’t want ur son to EAT poeple u shouldnt have named him something that rhymes with cannibal u should have name him hegetarian or something

88,397 notes
In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

99,945 notes

pizzashrapnelblindness:

growing up i always thought that quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be

291,566 notes

beinggigantic:

beinggigantic:

beinggigantic:

did u guys see the deer with the ribbon

image

this one did u see it

did u see this

309,701 notes

thekatitube:

DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY

243,906 notes

dampsandwich:

if u smell good, we cool

217,790 notes

I am so dumb why didn’t I put more effort into looking at colleges a few months ago I have like no options where I’d actually be excited to go now

0 notes